in strength we find
by InfiniteSouls
Summary: Post 2x09. Clarke struggles with love as a weakness and realises where real strength lies. (In other words, Clarke should have listened to her mother.)


The next day Bellamy and Lincoln left for Mt Weather. They couldn't afford to put it off any longer, especially when our people were calling out for help. We had to trust that they were okay. I stood a few feet away from the duo beside my mother who'd been far too close these last few days. She had been my personal shadow lately and when she wasn't there she always had an eye on me. I knew what was happening. She was waiting for me to break. Little did she know that I had put that all behind me now.

Bellamy enveloped his sister into a tight embrace. Octavia gripped her brother tightly and told him to come back in one piece. They hesitated a moment longer until Bellamy finally pulled back only to be replaced with Lincoln. As Lincoln and Octavia said their goodbyes Bellamy turned to the rest of us. He walked up to Raven and rested a hand on her shoulder before pulling her in for a short hug.

"I'll be listening on the radio - give us a message as soon as you can," she told him as he pulled away. He nodded in understanding before moving along the line of people standing to see them off. Kane gave Bellamy a short nod of encouragement and my mother reached out to touch his arm before stating a quick "Be safe."

Before long he was right in front of me ready to say something but before he could say a word I quickly spoke, "You'll need to be quick and stealthy when you get to the tunnels, the Reapers are always moving in and out-" I started but Bellamy cut me off with a worried sigh, "Clarke…"

"- and once you are inside you'll need to find where they're signalling from, Monty and Jasper should be able to help…" I carried on only to repeatedly be stopped in the same tone, "Clarke."

Bellamy held the same look he had when I told him to go to Mt Weather. I wasn't prepared to make this bigger than it had to be. Not now. He was going to get our people back. It was worth the risk. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze I nodded at him quickly.

"Good luck Bellamy," I said before turning on my heels and walking away. It was for the best, I had to talk strategies with Lexa anyway. This alliance couldn't work on its own.

As I walked away I kept repeating the same words I had been saying all day but hesitated for a single moment when I heard the hurried footsteps of them leaving. My instinct got the better of me and I turned around watching Bellamy and Lincoln walk through the clearing. They were almost out of sight and I was ready to turn back until Bellamy looked over his shoulder for one last glance. His eyes found mine immediately and he stopped. He stood there across the clearing staring at me.

_Love is weakness, _the voice in my head said as I quickly snapped forward and continued my small journey to Lexa's hut. _I can't afford to be weak anymore. _I didn't look back.

* * *

><p>Most of my time had been spent with Lexa and her army, strategising plans and tactics against Mt Weather. We had set most of our mission in place, however we were still debating whether we should wait for a signal from the inside. We hadn't heard anything from Bellamy which was a little concerning - but whats worse was that Lincoln hadn't returned back to camp. Lincoln was only meant to get Bellamy through the tunnels and inside the compound before coming back to camp to give us the all clear. However it had been a week now and we were still in the dark.<p>

"We have to expect the worse," Lexa said as she looked around the table, her eyes finally falling on me. "Clarke what do you think?"

Lexa looked at me cautiously seeking out my opinion, something she had seemed to do quite regularly nowadays. Deep down I knew I was worried. The plan was to get inside and make contact as soon as possible - but the disappearance of Lincoln had left everyone a bit concerned, especially Octavia. She had been on edge the first few days but as we reached into day 7 of their absence she begun to look completely distraught. She snapped at anyone who spoke to her and kept herself busy in preparations for the soon-to-be war.

_Can you blame her? _I told myself. _That's what love does to you._

I pushed all the thoughts of Octavia aside, "We have to do this on our own now." Lexa raised her head approvingly before starting to make arrangements of our attack.

I could no longer hold on to false hope. I had to be strong.

* * *

><p>The attack hadn't gone to plan. They knew we were coming and they had been prepared. They had more men on the outside than we had been prepared for and it was impossible to break through the tunnels and penetrate the compound. However Raven and I got away from the main fight and managed to sneak our way in using a secret entrance Raven discovered near the base of the radio antenna. It wasn't so much as an entrance but rather a vent that gave us direct access to the entire building. We managed to sneak through the vents before kicking open a panel, hopping out and onto the floors of the building. I helped Raven down just as sirens started to sound through the hall loudly.<p>

"That wasn't us was it?" She asked me as I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know. I think the building is in lockdown."

"… that's good right? It means the coast is clear," Raven stated but I quickly shook my head.

"Not necessarily, They would have people, mostly guards out monitoring and there is still the question of where our people even are…" I begun but was cut of by a voice.

"CLARKE!" a voice rang and I turned to find Miller running down the hall.

"Okay, that was way too easy," Raven muttered as Miller caught up.

He seemed surprised, "You're here, wait - why are you here? Did you get caught again, or?"

"No, we've come to get you guys back."

"Well you might be a little behind on that…" he started.

Raven stepped in, "Wait, what do you mean?"

Miller shook his head in surprise but quickly composed himself, "Hey look, we have to move… like now. I'll explain on the way."

Without another thought we begun rushing through the halls, guns in hand as Miller explained what had been going on.

* * *

><p>They were alive. Lincoln and Bellamy were alive, well barely. Miller had led us to a door which was locked with a keypad. He quickly punched in the digits checking both ways before gesturing us inside quickly. We were pushed inside a dark room - the only light illuminating from a torch being held by none other than Jasper. Clarke hurried to gather her thoughts as she looked around. It was a tight fit as she looked around and estimated a good 40 of her friends staring at both Raven and herself.<p>

There were murmurs and whispers before Jasper came rushing forward to pull me and Raven into a tight hug, "Aren't we glad to see you."

"Hey what's going on… where are-" I begun to ask as Jasper moved aside shining the torch at a body laying on the floor.

"Oh my god," Raven muttered as we both moved forward through the crowd of people.

On the floor was Bellamy; unconscious and covered in blood.

"He's been shot," Lincoln said clearly as my attention snapped to the man leaning over Bellamy putting pressure onto his wound. Lincoln was looking a little worse for wear but seemed to be coping just fine. "I've been trying to control the bleeding but he needs medicine and he needs it now."

"What the hell happened?" Raven asked as I grabbed the torch quickly to examine his wounds closer.

Miller spoke next, "It was right after the explosions. The whole place went on lockdown, people were being taken away and we knew we had to get out of there right then. We only managed to get this far before finding Lincoln carrying him down the hall. We found this room and Monty re-wired the door with a new pin so nobody could get inside… not that they really knew we were in here anyway-"

I had heard enough and turned to look down at Bellamy who was beginning to pass in and out of consciousness, "Hey…" I said gently, "Bellamy, it's me."

Bellamy struggled to squint through the dark and I shined the torch on myself and Raven to help him see a little bit.

"Clarke," he struggled to get out, his dry husky voice quite evident.

"Yeah it's me, we're here to get all of you guys out."

Bellamy let out a huff of disbelief, "Yeah good luck with that."

I gave him a stern look before he raised an eyebrow, "Clarke, I'm shot. There are guards everywhere. I'm surprised you even got here without being seen."

"We are getting out of here, today."

Bellamy huffed out a breath and in that moment I couldn't help but push back his hair that had been plastered wet against his forehead.

"Clarke…" Lincoln whispered trying to communicate so only those close could hear.

"If you are going to get out, you need to leave now, just get everyone to run and hope you don't run into anyone" he stated clearly.

"What about -" I begun but stopped after seeing the expression Bellamy had on his face. The same look he had given me on two occasions. The same look that garnered the same 3 word response in my brain. _Love is weakness._

_"_I'm not getting out of this one Clarke."

_Love is weakness. Love is weakness. Love is weakness._

_"_Maybe we can-" I begun but was again cut off.

"I can't."

… and then there was silence. Everyone in the room had honed in on the conversation at hand and a stilling silence swept over the crowd of people as Bellamy continued to stare at me sympathetically.

"Be strong Clarke," he told me and it was then that I realised what I had to do.

I stood up quickly.

"Miller."

"Yeah?"

"I need you to take everyone to where you found us. We came through the vent system and you'll be able to find a way out from there… Take my gun. Shoot anyone who tries to stop you and get everyone through as quick as possible." I directed handing Miller my gun before turning to Raven, "Go with them, you need to get them back to camp and let everyone know they're safe."

"What are you going to do?" she asked me.

"I'm staying behind. I'm going to help Bellamy and-"

"Clarke… he isn't going to make it through the vents."

"I know. We aren't leaving just yet though," I stated.

"Wait, what?" said a numerous amount of people all dumbfounded.

I took a breath, "We came here to get the grounders as well. They're behind the wall of the med-bay - if I can _just_ get there I can patch Bellamy up maybe enough to get him out of here alive whilst releasing the grounders at the same time."

Bellamy spoke up first, "Thats a big maybe Clarke and even if you do, how are we going to get out?"

"The tunnels."

"You cannot be serious?" he looked at me as if I was crazy.

"We've been here for awhile, the grounders and our people have hopefully broken through Mt Weathers army by now."

"Key word being _hopefully, _Clarke," Raven pointed out.

I gave her a small smile and she shook her head in frustration.

"You guys should go now, the guards are probably gathered around the tunnel entrance, now might be your only shot," I advised Raven and Miller who both gave a nod in return before gathering everyone together.

"I'm coming with you," Lincoln stated whilst I nodded.

"So am I," both Jasper and Monty stepped forward speaking at the exact same time.

"Are you all sure?"

They all nodded before Clarke looked down at Bellamy.

"I hope you know what you're doing princess," he asked me with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm being strong, Bellamy."

That was when I realised I had been wrong all along. I was never strong, I was becoming weak.

_Love was strength; it always had been._

* * *

><p>We did it.<p>

By some pure miracle we got out. Had we been a second early, or a minute late we'd be dead… but luck was upon us and the minute we reached the tunnels the grounders and our people had broke through and quickly led us to safety.

There had been death - there always is in a war. The day post-Mt Weather both our people and the grounders gathered to bury the dead. As Lexa put it, "We fought together and we died together and now we shall honour those who have fallen." It was then that we realised this could work. An actual alliance.

The days following we returned to camp. Alliance intact and exactly 42 of our people back. They were welcomed with loud cries and happy reunions and I couldn't help but feel monumentally proud that some of these kids could finally come _home. _

"For a second I didn't think we were all going to make it back," said a familiar voice from beside me.

"Bellamy what are you doing out of bed? You were shot, you need to recover-" I begun full of worry.

"I'm fine," he cut in as the guilt started to pile up in my throat. I told him to go. I had let him go die. Twice now.

Bellamy seemed to see right through me and shook his head, "Your mum told me about what Lexa said to you."

I turned to face him fully, a frown upon my face.

"Love is weakness, hey?" he half-laughed.

I sighed, "I don't know. It seemed easier at the time but-"

"But?"

"It's not enough."

His eyes reached back to mine as he looked at me to continue.

I smiled to myself before breaking away to gaze at the camp, "Love is strength. Strength we need. Strength to… move on."

We fell into a comfortable silence, just watching over the people of camp. For the first time in forever it felt like a place we could call home. It was a new start.

Before long I broke the silence, "So you've been talking to my mum."

The corners of Bellamy's lips quirked up and before long we were both laughing in perfect harmony, almost forgetting everything that had happened whilst on the ground.


End file.
